Jackie B's 2008 Review...

Alright! 2008, huh.

Not too impressed.
For example, I started this blog to make a 2008 collection of my favorite crappy tv/film/etc moments.
And look how few posts I was actually able to make!
That's because the world mentioned above was extremely boring this year.
We had a weak year of badly written Degrassi episodes.
90210 is a flop.
Rock of Love Charm School was pretty good, I am especially looking foward to the reunion episode to see if Sharon Osbourne does in fact beat up Megan.
'Cause frankly, that would be sweet.

I am disgusted that we have to end 2008 with even WORSE TV than prior year,
with yet ANOTHER season of "Shot at Love" with hideous twins, rightly named "Ikki", who I see by commercial, because I refuse to actually watch that crap, are "Bisexual Twins". Wow. Good one, MTV.

And another MTV gem I see is coming out called "Bromance"?! Wow. I thought it was a gay dating show. A bunch of dudes competing to be pals with some unknown douchebag. Sounds great. I once again say, Wow.

Movies were a bust this year too!
I love going to the movies!
There was a time when I would go to the movies like twice a week!
This year I probably only went a handful of times.
What's up with that?
All those superhero movies were bullshit. Batman was great in the theatre, but when I watched the DVD I fell asleep.
Why is it so hard to make a good superhero movie?

I demand better flicks and TV in 2009.
I for example am really looking foward to the movie version of "Where the Wild Things Are". It looks pretty fucking awesome. It seems they are using puppets Jim Henson style or some really great costumes (or both) rather than making those god awful cartoons. Or if this is cartoon stuff then hell, this is the best cartoon job yet!


...Pretty neat, huh?

ANYWAY, The end of this year also brought on some sad deaths! 2 Classic sex kittens, Bettie Page (pin up, for you youngsters) and Eartha Kitt (Catwoman) both died this month, which is pretty sad to hear. Both Classics. Sad news.

So that about wraps it up,
2008- Go Fuck Yourself!
Bring on 2009!

Your pal,
Jackie B.

Long time, No blog...

But not my fault!
Bad TV has been worse than ever so I've had nothing great to report!
Here's a briefing on all the bad tv I've watched since last posting:
DEGRASSI:
LAST SEASON: OK, guys. What the fuck. You made Ellie almost have sex with Marco???
Did you miss the part where Marco is gay??
I did like the Paige had a run in with the studly new AIDS ridden roommate.
Nice, Degrassi. Nice.
But worst of all... you tried to make Liberty sexy?????
Are you smoking crack writers of degrassi???
Liberty will never be sexy. She will always be the big toothy nerd.
Yep. That's the way it is.
I wasn't going to watch the next season since practically no original cast members are on it but I'm a sucker so I had to give it a go...
Here are my thoughts:
I HATE THE NEW PRINCIPAL!!!
He is ridiculous.
Let's kill him off.
I did enjoy the first episode of Mia being a hot sexy ho-bag and doing that football stud for a modeling job.
Excellent.
I even thought the Jane getting jumped episode was great, but it should have been an epic hour long event of how they deal with it. I was not down with the problem magically going away in 25 minutes.
It could have been way better.
What's a hot piece like Jane doing with Spinner Mason anyway??
SPEAKING OF WHICH---
STUDZ????!!!
What the fuck was up with that?
Glad to see that go.
And almost as bad as Liberty being a sex object now, you made her little brother one too???
NO WAY!!
Unbelievable.
Not attractive.
No thanks!
And the way you cut Darcy out of the show was really weak too...
Kenya????
What the fuck would she be going to Kenya for????
They should have done something clever, like said her family was moving to Cali.

Which brings me to...

90210!!!!

Ok.. This show sucks really bad, But once again I am a sucker and original 90210 is one of my favorite shows ever so I will keep watching.
I loved that Jackie Taylor is still half a junkie, but I thought it was weak that Brenda and Kelly were on for like 3 episodes and then kinda got written off.
But nice to see Kyle from Melrose Place (the latter days) back in some classic teen dramas.
The new girls are annoying. "Annie" AKA the new Brenda AKA Darcy is tops on that annoying chart. Maybe cause I can't get past her being Darcy.
We also got Lori Loughlin from Full House fame playing her mother.
The new Kelly is a pretty good character, as is Silver- though I am extremely dissapointed in no mention of David/Donna.

Speaking of money hungry LA'ers...

I LOVE MONEY:

This show was the worst.
I won't speak of it much except for to say how annoying it was.
And FUCK YOU VH1 for thinking douchebags like "Real" and "Chance" should be having their own shows.
I will leave it at that.
WEAK!!

ROCK OF LOVE CHARM SCHOOL:

I think I'm going to watch this just to be annoyed.
I fucking can't stand Lacey.
Can we just kill her, too?

THANKS!

OK!! That's everything for now,
I swear I will watch more crappy TV and keep posting more now that more bad shit is constantly on..

The new show I'm excited about??
THE NEW CELEBRITY REHAB!!
Go look up the cast.
Amazing.

Your Bad TV Obsessor,
JB

THE RETURN OF MUSCLE ACTION!!

I know, I know. Long time. No bad TV rant.
That's because everything happening with Degrassi has sucked.
Rock of Love 2 sucked.

But now I finally have something to write about..
My 2 favorite shows colliding???

THATS RIGHT!.. DEGRASSI AND 90210 ARE PRACTICALLY ONE!!

Darcy, everyones favorite suicidal, slutty Christian of Degrassi is now leaving ol' Canadia to head to Beverly Hills and be a main character on the new 90210!

I KNOW, RIGHT???

Geez.

Awesome.

And from what I've found out, Kelly Taylor, Donna Martin and possibly even Steve Sanders are going to be regulars on the show!!

This is a happy day for me.
Be sure to expect a recap when it happens/more details as it gets closer.

Your Bad TV Obsessor,
JB

Rock of Love 2... Daisy-Deville-DaylaHoya???

What the fuck was up with the last episode of Rock of Love??
Highlights include:
-Drinks thrown at Daisy.
-Heather in general. (she was being a jerk. and it was funny)
And I guess all of this even though it was all so fucking annoying:
-Daisy claims to have not have had sex in the past 2 years before the show. Riiiiiggghhhtt. Girls like her totally don't do it for long periods of time. yep.
-Daisy somewhere as a threat of some sort states during an argument that Oscar DayLa Hoya is her Uncle.
-Daisy brings up she was "friends" with CC Deville for a period of time.. but nothing physical happened.
And after all of this, Bret not only keeps her on the show... But chooses her first!?!?!
What the fuck is up with that?
He's on crack.
And her face should be cracked.

The rest of the episode wasn't so exciting.
I guess that's why they have to keep Daisy- for drama and something to be annoyed at.
I was so excited the first half of the episode when I realized Amber and Jessica looked like mother and daughter.
But alas, "young soul" Jessica went home.

Next weeks episode seems to feature one of the girls getting another fake tattoo. Nice!

Another edition of memorable TV moments with Blownaparte is over.
-BLOWNAPARTE

ROCK OF LOVE 2... THE GATHERING OF THE DOUCHEBAGS

I think my review of this episode is pretty much summed up in the title...
In this episode, Bret Michaels invites the ex-boyfriends of the ladies over.
WOW. Some major dorks and douchebags.
Not that I expected otherwise. I think I might have even been expecting worse.
But hang on..
The Biggest Douche Award goes to....
DAISY'S BOYFRIEND!
Oh my god I wanted to lunge at my TV, and fall into a magical vortex that would bring me to that moment so I could personally punch him in the face.
He was wearing a "I'm bald" Bandana under his hat, much like Bret, and his hat had a fucking "White Trash" patch on it.
WOW.
He's a real winner.
In fact, I think him and Daisy are perfect for eachother.
Actually, (Sorry for the Spoiler if you haven't seen it!) they seem to still be going out anyway. Classy.
Jessica puking and being a dumb drunk girl was pretty funny.
And then there's the return of Heather!
If you don't recall from last season, Heather is the big one who got the fake Bret tattoo on her neck.
My guess is, since she's going to be back for yet another episode- that they are going to do the same thing they did on Flavor of Love with New York.
I think he's going to ask her to compete with the remaining girls.
We'll see Sunday I guess! When the group heads to Vegas (again.) and hopefully goes to see another totally bitchin' Bret show.
And if we're really lucky they will bring back the slide shows from last season..
(Yup.. If you haven't seen it, Last season he showed the girls slideshows of himself on dates. yeeeeah.)
OH! and last but not least.. Meghan. I think everything was pretty funny about Meghan this episode.
She cried when she was drunk about how the boy Bret invited wouldn't date her.
Best of all- When Bret confronted her about it, she said "What? That wasn't me. She must have me confused with somebody else." .... awesome.
And then when she didn't get a clock she didn't leave for like 5 minutes.
Again- Awesome.

This has been another installment of Bad TV with Blownaparte.
Enjoy!
-JB

ROCK OF LOVE 2... The Farewell to Kristy-Joe!

OK! So, I LOVED the first season of Rock of Love.
It was fucking classic. I don't think I've ever seen such an amazing collection of dumb bitches in my life.
At least not since high school.
So I was naturally excited when they announced season 2 was coming..
Until I fucking saw it!
Terrible!
The episodes have been really boring and the girls are a real snore too.
Daisy's plastic surgery makes her look like Freddy Krueger and one of those supercool 90's skateboard Alien decals' lovechild.
Then there was the 2 old ladies (who were actually Bret's age - I'm surprised they made it that far!) (PS on that note-- in the first episode where Bret blatantly lies about his age. Awesome.) who were sooo fucking boring. And not so fun to look at.
And the girl who looked like a rat with the terrible overbite who wore the wig-hiding bandanas, just like Bret. YUCK!
But I kept watching, waiting for an awesome moment..
And along came last night's episode.. WOW!
I laughed pretty much the whole time,
The music videos the girls made were RIDICULOUS! But not any more ridiculous than the new Bret tunes they were for... WOW!
I didn't realize the really lame "let me be your rock of love" intro was more then an intro and an actual SONG!
Holy crap.
It's really insane what people think is good. Because that definitely wasn't.
And all the girls breaking down crying on the steps were pretty funny too.
ANYWAY! All that was pretty humorous, and then came the whammy of the night..
KRISTY-JOE FINALLY LEAVES!!!
I thought the producers would make her stay on until the end of the season for dramatic reasons,
and the last few episodes ended with them trying to make you think he was sending her home.
So Bret asks her tonight if she wants to stay and she actually says no!
And Bret is apparently so distraught by this, because he actually for some reason liked her, he left the other girl hanging and called it a night.
HAH!
There was no preview of next weeks episode, but my guess is Meghan is goin' home.

I HEART BAD SHOWS.
-Blownaparte

DEGRASSI VS. 90210 (Continued...)

I would also like to point out,
That much like the hilarious situation on 90210 when Kelly's facial burn became an inconveience to the show it started to become just a red spot.. then a smaller red spot.. until it just completely dissapeared like it never happened.
They are totally making this slowly happen with Jimmy's character on Degrassi, as him being in a wheelchair is becoming an inconvenience, he is now learning how to walk.
Only they are adding the extra saucyness of his new crippled love affair. Adorable.
Nothin' says Lovin' like learning to walk together.
Speaking of facial inconveniences,
I recently read in People magazine about Andrea Zuckerman (aka Gabriel whatever the hell her last name is)'s half paralyzed face.
I had no idea, but apparently she is still acting in movies and got injured while doing one of her own stunts and it paralyzed half of her face.
No worries though, 90210 die-hards, reading up on it it's only a temporary injury and she's already better!
I'm sure it's a great flick too, that we will all never see.
Right on!

-Blownaparte